Elliot (still fighting on the middle name) Grahl

This post is dedicated to my tummy dweller, Ellie. So far this is a name we can both agree on, even though my dear husband is fighting me on the middle name. (Doesn't he know childhood promises to your BFF are meant to be kept??) It may change in the next 5 months ( I can already picture my mother trying to pronounce Elliot) but it feels awesome to refer to her by name and not just "it". It has been quite a roller coaster of emotions since finding out I was expecting, and I'm only halfway there! Seeing her move around on the ultrasound and finding out she's a "she" makes it that much more real...and terrifying. What kind of mother will I be? Will she be proud or embarrassed of her parents? Will she have Giuliano's eyes? My nose? Endless worries and concerns regarding her healthy development. Knowing that I will probably never stop worrying. And in spite of (or maybe because of) all this, I am beyond excited. Excited to see Giuliano hold his daughter for the first time. To see him squirm as he changes her first diaper. To watch her grow and find out what kind of little person she will be.

I have so many examples of good mothers surrounding me, starting with my own mother and grandmother, to my mother in-law, aunts & stepmother, to my amazing friends Karem, Ashley, Vivian, and of course Daleth who I am in awe of almost daily. And now Johanna, not even just a friend anymore, more like a sister. My heart aches knowing we are so far apart, but our friendship has survived 21 years and I know it will be around for the next 20 (I kind of owe it to her anyway for putting up with me during my middle school chongalicious phase). I feel blessed to have the support of all these women, not to mention the support and love I am already receiving from my non-parent friends! Ellie will be one loved child :) To her, I would like to promise a few things. She can even bring this up in the future and hold me accountable.

I promise to:
-Love you as if you were my own
-Hold you for ridiculous amounts of time, even after my mother tells me I'm spoiling you
-Never ever dress you in an ugly outfit (Remember, times change!!)
-Let you eat yourself sick on Halloween just once, as long as Daddy takes you trick or treating (I can't promise he won't eat all of your candy)
-Force you to read and learn to love it (You'll thank me later)
-Always take your side when you argue with grandma (This one is for selfish reasons...)
-Leave you with your grandpa so he can tell you all the jokes and stories that would entertain me for hours when I was little :)
-Let you drive your uncle Oscar crazy. This one is more of a request from me than a promise to you...
-Support you in everything, as long as it doesn't involve small animal sacrifices
-Never say "I told you so" (I will, however, smirk to myself and reinforce my belief that I know better)
-Kiss you where it hurts, but to also make you get right back up and face the challenge again
-Keep your dad busy when you get picked up for dates so he can't intimidate them
-Always have time for you


I'm sure there are more things I can promise you, but I don't want to paint myself into a corner! We will just stick to the basics for now. In all seriousness, though: Please feel free to bother your uncle Oscar as much as your little heart desires. Ask to spend entire days with him. Play the game of shadow (I'll teach it to you as long as you promise only to play it with him). He loves it.


As a bonus to my few readers who actually make it through my posts, here's Ellie being a drama queen with her hand on her face:       

             ( For those who can't see it, her tummy is on the left and head on the right where it says profile)