Late 20's

Well I can see how well I've done keeping up with my goal of at least one blog post per month....

I'm learning about the stages of life. In my late teens everyone was discovering first love, applying to college, and for some of my friends, experiencing out of state college experiences. The most important things seemed to revolve around school or close friends/significant others. You're invincible at 18.

In my early/mid twenties, everyone was experiencing the "real world." College graduation meant either continuing with grad school or finding a job with this degree you've worked so hard (hopefully) to earn. Some of us were lucky enough to start our careers right away, others went back to find another, more meaningful degree/career. Still others continued on their long journeys toward law and medical degrees. At this stage, many of my friends and old schoolmates were getting married. Some married earlier, and some are still not there, but the majority happened from ages 21-24. I was a little late with my own 25 year old wedding, haha.

Now, I'm learning about the "late" twenties. My friends are having babies. Buying houses. Finishing doctoral degrees. Learning more about what it takes to make it as an adult. My least favorite part about the late twenties is the start of the inevitable; grandparent/parent death. (I do apologize for the morbid turn, but my writing is cathartic) My paternal grandmother died yesterday. It was not unexpected, but that does not take away from the sorrow in the least. Cucu, as we called her, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005, and battled for 7 long years before deciding early this year she did not want any more chemo or radiation. The cancer had spread to her bones, and there really was nothing more to be done. I supported her decision fully, and just wanted her to be comfortable. The eye-opening moment was her not being able to come to my wedding; we both shed some tears over that but with the help of technology, we were able to broadcast the ceremony and reception to her sick bed. I will always be grateful she got to see me walk down in the aisle, albeit virtually.

There is something to be said about the way a family comes together at a time like this. I love my family all the more in the dignified way her decisions were handled. She died knowing she was loved immensely, and was even able to welcome the newest member in the family, James. She told me once in confidence that her only regret would be not meeting any of her great-grandchildren, but at least she was able to meet her last grandchild who was born just 3 weeks ago.

I cannot adequately express the feeling of losing a grandmother. There is a special bond between grandmas and grandchildren, and I was lucky to have her. I think back to the days when I used to take her to chemo appointments, and cannot quite fathom a world where her stubborn opinion isn't making its way out of her mouth. She was honest to a fault and gave the best advice (as grandmothers are wont to do). Case in point: after a particularly rough break up from my boyfriend of 2 years, I was crying on the phone to her, expecting some sympathy. She promptly told me to stop crying, and that she was glad he finally grew balls and walked away. I was 20 and pretty selfish, so she kind of had a point. I will always remember her being unapologetic about her opinions, no matter how unpopular, and she was usually right (frustratingly so).

So here's my homage to my abuela cucu. I love you dearly and will miss your comforting shoulder always. I will also regret my children not being able to meet you, but there will be so many stories to tell they will feel as though they  know you. I know wherever you are, there is no pain, and that is what comforts me the most.
love, your favorite granddaughter :)