Days like today

I promised myself I would write whatever was on my mind, be it good or bad. I don't lead a perfect life!

I love my job. Really, I do. I don't love all aspects of my job (waking up early, getting home past dinner time, dealing with increasingly frustrating rules and regs, excessive charting... I could go on...) but the good definitely outweighs the bad. Except for days like today. I really can't pinpoint any one thing, but days like this make me seriously doubt my ability to work full time and be a mother. I am so physically drained and exhausted I can barely make it home to eat dinner and fall into my bed. Except now it's get home, help prepare dinner for myself and Giuliano, spend quality time together, and then go to sleep. Forget any other kind of "quality time"; it just isn't happening when I can't even muster the energy to shower. (I do, though! For those of you now wondering)

It's days like these that make me miss the somewhat carefree days pre-marriage (I know, I know, it's only been 2 weeks). Life is only going to get more complicated, more time consuming, and when the kids come: louder and more expensive. I want these things, mind you, the tough times and the fights and the noisy, messy children. I yearn for these life experiences but at the same time wish it could all stay simple.

Thankfully, I know that my down days are few and far in between, and those surrounding me always know just what to say to make me realize A) I'm being dramatic or B) I'm loved and it doesn't matter anyway. Giuliano is great at helping me see the brighter side of things (which is pretty ironic considering he's the token pessimist in this arrangement). Having our family home evening (for my non-LDS friends: spiritual moment shared with your family) helps me to see the bigger picture and bask in the joy it is to know I am unconditionally loved and accepted. Like a wise woman said, what else is there?